Thursday, June 18, 2009
I have ten stories saved on my computer that I have started but not finished. They are all in different stages and sometimes I will be working on one when I'll get an idea for another. I have one that I have been working on for a while now and I am almost finished with it. For some reason, though, I can't bring myself to work on it anymore. I don't know if it's because I'm starting to hate what I once loved or if the thought of finishing it brings with it the next steps and I'm just scared. I've always wanted to be a writer. I majored in English in college so I could read and write. I took a creative writing class where my teacher always had good things to say about my writing, things I will read often when I am stuck and I feel like I'm no good. I'm not sure if I'm even writing the right things. I want to write something I would like to read, but there are times when I think about the stories I write and I wonder if they are interesting enough. Today I sat at the computer and looked at all of the stories I have and I realized that the books I love to read the most are not reflected at all in what I write. My favorite class in college was Young People's Lit. It was designed for those of us who were going to teach English or be librarians. My favorite books are Newberry winners, books written for kids or teenagers, picture books I read to my kids. I have read Jacob Have I Loved a million times and I never get tired of it. I tell people The Giver is the best book ever. I read Charlotte's Web in a few hours and the books I taught to my students are still some of my favorites. I will go to the library with my kids and check the Young Adult shelves for books for me to read and I have looked over the requirements for the Newberry award, just to have it in the back of my mind. I used to think I would write for the LDS market. I read a lot of those books and it just seemed like the direction I would take. But today, when I had writer's block with the book I have been working on, I thought I needed to start writing what I love to read the most. I thought about how great it would be if I wrote something my boys would like to read. One of these days I want to go to a book store and see my book on the shelf; I want to send my kids off to school and sit down at the computer and write knowing I have a deadline. One of these days I will finally finish a book, send it in to a publisher and see what happens.