Thursday, August 20, 2009
I was just sitting on the couch with Colin, tickling him, when I looked at him and thought, what happened? He got so big so fast. And Trevor. Dave tried to pick him up the other day and said how heavy he was. He's getting so tall, losing teeth, and he has a lunch box now. They used to be so little, so cute and cuddly. Colin will be in preschool this year and all summer I've been saying how nice it will be to have a few hours each week where it will just be Logan and me. I'll be able to go grocery shopping with just one child again. But then sometimes I think of how I'd look out the window to see if Trevor was home from kindergarten yet and how long a day 1st grade will be for not just me but him. It's not like I'm sending him off to college but it seems like that sometimes. I don't know if I should be happy about them growing up, going off to school, or be sad about it. I'm sure they will be times I'll love the time I get when they're gone, but I think I'll miss them too. People are right, it really does go by so fast. I can already see next year coming up before I can blink - Trevor keeps asking when Christmas is....4 months is not that far away. But I sit here and wonder, "Have I enjoyed it?" I look back and I know I enjoyed Trevor as a baby since he was the first, but with Colin we were so busy it seems like his days as a baby and toddler are a big blur for me. I'll look at him now and think "What were you even like as a baby." I forget because I think I didn't take the time to just sit and watch him like I did with Trevor. And Logan - he's been easy to enjoy. It's been easy to take it slow with him, savor the little things and lock them away in my memory so that when he is older I can pull things out. I told Colin one day, "I didn't hold you enough when you were a baby." I'm glad he lets me hold him now, I'm glad he's still small and he still fits in my arms, that he will cuddle next to me and say, "Hold me Mom." And now, thinking about it all I get teary-eyed. No, I'm not baby hungry, I'm not wanting another baby, but I think I just miss my babies. I think sometimes I wanted so much for them to get older, I wanted to get on to the next stage to see what they would do that I forgot to stop and see what they were doing right then. Dave and I will say that every now and then when we're frustrated, "Ooo, I can't wait until he's older." But I wonder, if when they are all older we'll sit back and think, "Oh, I wish they little again."
Saturday, August 8, 2009
We didn't do a summer vacation this year so we've needed to do something that felt like a little out of the ordinary. Trevor kept asking if we could go to the mountains. "The real mountains, not that ones that have cactus." He meant not Red Rock. So we packed a lunch, got the kids in the car, picked up my parents and headed out. It was so perfect up there - cooler weather, not too many people and the boys like hiking and running around. We didn't end up staying for too long, but while we were there it was a nice break. Trevor thought we were going camping so he was a little disappointed, but I told him we'd go one of these days; we just need a tent. I think we're going back up this week. My mom has some days off from work so we're going to go up with them and my sister and her kids. That will be fun. It's always nice when we get all of the cousins together. It's almost time for school, so these last few fun things are making the summer seem not wasted, but enjoyed.